The Wonderful Adventure of Shireen M Bones
by Oceangirl-Umi
Summary: This is a random story that me and my cousin wrote about my sister being related to Susan Bones. It is mindless humor. -ONE SHOT-


The Magical Tale of Shireen M. Bones: The heir of Susan Bones  
  
[Interior: a muggle house in London.]  
  
Susan: Shireen! Come down, dear!! You'll be late to the train!! Hurry!!  
  
Shireen: Coming!!! WAIT!!  
  
(Shireen is getting ready for her very FIRST day at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She is having technical difficulties.)  
  
Susan: SHIREEN!!  
  
Shireen: Mo-ooom!! My blow dryer isn't working (hence, "technical difficulties")!!!  
  
Susan: Oh, come on! It's fine! Your hair will be fine!  
  
Shireen: *comes down the stairs wearing a witch costume* Okay! I'm ready!  
  
Susan: *blinks* Hahahaha!!! Oh honey! You don't really wear witch costumes to school.just wear something normal.  
  
Shireen: Okay.  
  
Susan: Oh come sit in my lap, sweetie.  
  
Shireen: *sits in her mother's lap*  
  
Susan: OW!! (Did I ever tell you what Shireen's middle name was? Well, it's Montague. That means "Sharp" So, all in all, her name means "Princess Sharp Bones". And almost all her bones are quite sharp.including her tail bone.)  
  
Shireen: Oops.sorry mother.  
  
Susan: *laughs nervously* Hehe.that's okay dear. Now, go get changed!!  
  
Shireen: *runs upstairs, changes her clothes, and comes downstairs* Okay mom! I'm ready!  
  
[Int: Platform 9 ¾ . Situation: The train is pulling up into the station.]  
  
Susan: Well honey, there it is. *sighs* I remember my first train ride.*she reminisces on that memory*  
  
Shireen: That's nice, mom. Oh mom! The train is closer!! I gotta go! *kisses her mother's cheek*  
  
Susan: Ow! Your chin! Oh ow!!! Bye hun, have a nice trip..*clutches her shoulder*  
  
Shireen: Bye mother! *boards the train and takes one last look at her mother who is still clutching her shoulder in pain* Bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (note how terrified Shireen is.hence, the plethora of exclamation points.)  
  
[Int.: The Hogwarts Express.]  
  
Shireen: *walks into one compartment to find another girl there* Hullo!  
  
Girl: Hi. My name is Desdemona Lard. I am evil. I am the heir of Voldemort even though that is crazily incredible.  
  
Shireen: *shrugs* Cool. I'm Shireen.  
  
Desdemona: What does your name mean?  
  
Shireen: Princess.  
  
Desdemona: Yeah, I had a happy name too. My real name is Larissa Hillary Edith Eunice Gaynell Mab Nara Leala Cornelia Kayla JoAnne Frederica Anneliese Marybella Niacin Riboflavin Andromeada Galaxius Betelgeuse Schuster Lard. But I changed it to Desdemona.  
  
Shireen: So.what does Desdemona mean?  
  
Desdemona: Evil.  
  
Shireen: Oh. Okay. Wanna be friends?  
  
Desdemona: Sure.  
  
Shireen: So, do you have any special talents?  
  
Desdemona: No, but soon I will murder Harry Potter's child and take revenge on him for killing my grandfather Tom Marvolo Riddle.  
  
Shireen: Oh. I have pointy bones.  
  
Desdemona: Right.  
  
[Situation: Train comes to a stop and kids pour out of train.]  
  
Hagrid: Firs' 'ears ove' 'ere. Come on, na. Let's move. Follow meh, firs' 'ears! Righ' this way. Watch yer step. Don't want ye ta be follen in dat dear wada.  
  
Shireen, Desdemona, and rest of first years: .wha??  
  
Random fifth year: He wants you to follow him carefully so you don't fall in the water.  
  
Shireen, Desdemona, and rest of first years: Ohhhh. Okay. *follow and get into the boats*  
  
Shireen: *pokes Hagrid's stomach before he opens the doors* So, how deep is the lake?  
  
Hagrid: *howls in pain* OWW!! Watch those talons of yer's. They could get ye in real bad trouble if ye dun know how ter keep 'em shor' 'n' tid'.  
  
Shireen: ..huh?  
  
Hagrid: Ne'er ye min'.  
  
Shireen: What on earth are you trying to say???/  
  
Hagrid: Just be quiet and follow me into the great hall, please. All questions will be answered later.  
  
First years: O_o  
  
Shireen: Why didn't he talk like that in the beginning?  
  
*doors open and-*  
  
THE END!!  
  
Author's note: Okay this story is dedicated to my little (bony) sister, Shireen. She is the pokiest person I know. Me and my cousin were bowling and my sister sat in my lap when I wasn't playing. I shrieked. I mean seriously, she has no fat! It's creepy. Anyways, my cousin got this idea about writing a story about a bony girl named Shireen. We couldn't figure out what category it would go in and then we realized that Harry Potter would be the one. Susan Bones was a secondary character who was rarely mentioned because she was sorted into Hufflepuff (J.K. Rowling has serious Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw discrimination problems). Her last name matched everything and we decided to write this. And yes, Shireen means princess but my sister's middle name is NOT Montague. Anyways.I don't think there will be a next chapter because there is no plot line. I hope you enjoyed this little humor fic, and my cousin and I must go eat now. Oh yeah, Hagrid's dialogue really don't say anything in particular. I was just typing random things. I love you all!! Love, Umi and Cousin. 


End file.
